So yeah, it has been a couple of months after a "proper" post. The reason I am writing is because I am currently stressed of my Final Year Project (FYP). By ranting on the internet I hope I can oust my some of my stress away, thus a happier self.
So my FYP is about cancer modelling with some radiotherapy. I choose this topic because I am quite skeptical about the benefit of doing a proper physics project. Plus I always get nauseous whenever I dealt with some overly sophisticated physical concept that doesn't seem to be real for me. So here I am, doing some s**t which sounds like "curing cancer" and all.
Another background information, I was once accepted at one medical school in Indonesia yet I chose to study physics in NTU instead. The reason I chose physics? Because I was a naive kid who was obsessed with working at CERN without knowing the bloody path that I may need to go through. After reading some stuffs and not spending sufficient hours of studying quantum mechanics I decided that I won't be aiming for CERN anymore as a physicist (at least until now). So here I was, lost without internal motivation.
Now that I'm no longer that lost (or so I think), it feels like my FYP are taking some kind of revenge to me. Firstly, the topic is related to medical science. A subject where need to rigorously read thick books and literature *BLAARGH*. Secondly, my supervisor requested that I need to add a simulation about radiation therapy. And guess what, it is basically branch of particle physics which is totally not my forte. It feels like I am being punched, a very strong one, right to my abdomen.
And by the time I write this paragraph I feel less stressed. Hey, it works! Wait, suddenly the thought of having deadlines come into my mind. Uh oh.
Gosh.
This picture pretty much sums it all.
