Not Existential Enough

I just wonder why are some people not existential enough.

If a writing this short could be published in Blogspot, nothing can't be published.

Untuk Tidak Menjadi Om-om Media Sosial

It's been about a good six months since the last time I posted anything here. Let's admit that my dependencies on social media is pretty high. Not much different than you probably, but I spent a lot of time especially on Facebook. One of my colleague said that some times more than 10 years ago, he and his friends used blog a lot. For what purpose? Mostly updating their days. Now that I fulfill the same need pretty much on Facebook, and therefore I lost my incentives to write here. Furthermore, Facebook doesn't encourage proper writing; thing that blog does obviously better.

Here comes the problem: I absolutely don't want to be part of demographic group that I feel the most awkward with, which is the one I mention in this title (very roughly translated as Social Media Uncle). I hope the term alone is enough to describe what kind of niche they fill in society, because I am lacking any robust definition of them. My friend said that there is no need to worry as we were born in different era, making us very familiar on what kind of role should we act on the internet. Maybe he was right. But what if everyone just become 'uncool' as they age? Or what if what most teenagers think about their parents' generation is true? There we go, the existential question. Whether what I am concerned (such a first world concern) is a specific generation issue, which we are not part of, or if it is a perennial problem.

"The children now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise."

As said by Socrates.

(image courtesy of Encyclopedia Britannica)

Because We Want to Live Forever

I couldn't remember the detail, but once I was having a rather weird conversation. I lied about being only once in a rather weird conversation, but this one was slightly more interesting than the other weird conversations. The conversation goes by:

"Suppose sex does not feel good, will you ever have sex?"

Firstly, I can't validate the truth of the earlier part of the sentence. Probably further explanation about that is not needed. But let's assume that it's true (based on some extrapolation), will you?

I am no biologist, but I do read a little bit of general science. There is opinion (or validated theory?) saying that there is evolutionary reason to why (heterosexual) sex should feel good. They said that it's necessary to make sure that we reproduce. To make certain that our species exist. But what's the point of existing? Like seriously, it doesn't even matter if earth doesn't exist. Or even the whole universe in the first place. Unfortunately it just happens that everything exists and we need to make a sense of everything.

Are you afraid of death? If you ask me, I don't know. I think experiencing pain is not desirable, but death itself is umm... In my belief, death isn't seen as bad as like how death is portrayed by majority of popular media. Surely it can stop you from doing and having awesome things in life such as ice cream and chocolate cake. But it also stops you from doing and having terrible things, which could result in at least discomfort in the world or even worse in the hereafter.

Usually, people are afraid of things that they don't understand. Darkness? Checked. Seafloor? Checked. Death? Obviously! It is said that when we procreate, we pass on our genes. Not every single of them, but at least half in most occasions. So what happen when we have our offspring is that the offspring inherit part of us. Yes, as if we are still alive - partially. But that's not as bad as being completely vanished right? So maybe we have sex because we don't want to die? Very weird indeed.

This post can't get deeper than Mariana Trench at least.

Photo courtesy: National Geographic, I think.

I, Too, Still Update.

Hiya everyone,

About one year after I've graduated from one of the biggest ordeal in my life (yet). So has life been awesome? Not really. But not bad either. The further I go from that moment, the more I can see the bigger picture. Earth is not flat after all.

The past five years have been quite a journey. It works for me the way teenage years work for most people. Your identities and believes got crushed and must be rebuilt again. A phenomenon that I did not experience back when I was reading the subject in the counseling (BK bahasa Inggrisnya apaan sih lol) textbook. And the reason why I prefer to express identity and believe in plurals because they are clearly not singular. It can be who you associated yourselves with, what matters to you, your definition of success, or can be even simpler such as your favorite musician. The change, for some people, could encompass even bigger magnitude, gender and religion maybe?

It's true, one method to see fast changes on our personal selves would be moving out of our comfort zone. The changes is more apparent when you are younger usually, when you are still able to be molded. Now that you wish you can change to be the way you want, but it's not that easy to behave the way we want to behave; just like it's no longer easy to touch your toes without bending your legs (ouch). Many experiences have passed, and many more is still waiting. Surely there are regrets and satisfaction, but I think I have learnt how to be grateful.

It wasn't easy to console yourself with failure, but this past one year has helped me to do that. I realize that I don't have so much youth anymore and I need to get going. I wish I can look back at this article and say "You've done well Al!"

If you ever feel worthless, remember that there are people who still think that the earth is as flat as this pancake.

Courtesy image to National Pancake Week website.

New Year New Me Bullshit

Hi, happy new year!

I don't really celebrate new year, but I guess whenever I am happy I feel the urge to celebrate it. I mean, we are not always happy at every single moment right? But I have to admit that I just want to make excuses to eat more desserts.

Do you make new year resolution? I do. A very simple one. I really hope that I can at least iron clothes once a week. Sound like the dream of average Joe, but room free of mountain of clean shirts is something that everyone desires.

Speaking of average Joe, I think I have lived one now. Gone are the days when I have some cool dreams and ambitions. Which I am not very happy. People stop growing when they stop being challenged and I am avoiding those challenges. Some times I wish I were raised in a less secure environment (such as our parents generation) but then nah, not really.

But well, if anything I still feel grateful for everything. Functioning body (not excellent, but pretty good), caring family, reliable friends, nice job, what else can you ask?

I can always ask for at least one million money though...

Confession: I Don't Know How to Adult

Let's admit it, I don't know how to adult. I am 21 with a nice full time job right now but well, I simply understand nothing about being an adult. Now I need to pay my own bills and worse is I can't skip my morning classes (you are a freaking university tutor duh). But yes, while I manage to survive pretty well I am not sure about living well. I haven't really developed a responsible adult habit, such as waking up in the morning and being fully functional. My room is also super messy, just like a teenager in his rebellious phase. To put it simply, I don't know what I am doing in life, just like you - probably.

I have a larger dream, much larger than what I am doing now. But you know, duties. That's probably about being an adult. My messy room, will also be always messy if I am not tidying things up. That's also part of being adult, probably. I never imagined what adult life would be when I was a kid, it's just now I wonder why "adult stuffs" are attributed that way. It's undermining the essence of being adult. So much now is about responsibility and not a mere of such "stuffs". So simply be responsible maybe?

Unusual

It's easy to make "positive" claims about ourselves. One of the most popular claim is the phrase "you are special". Admit it, sometimes you want to stand out from your crowd. You want to be acknowledged. You want to be different. But on the other hand you want to conform to society, which makes you normal with respect to others. Complicated creatures aren't we?

Since everyone is declaring that they are special in one and other way, let myself make my own claim (see, that's part of conforming to society). As football is the most popular sport in Indonesia, it is very common to see kids start playing football since they start elementary school. What about myself? I didn't play it until fourth grade, when they started airing Captain Tsubasa on local TV channel. What about my basketball career? Yes correct, I didn't play it until fifth grade when they started airing Slam Dunk on the same TV channel. So can you make a conclusion about myself? Ah, I forgot that people nowadays will be judged if they make judgement about other person.

Nostalgic but too much flying human.